Dealing with insecurity and building up self-esteem: a few tips

As a human being, you can be naturally free and confident, spontaneous and happy! But how come you are not experiencing life that way? Insecurity and low self-esteem

What does insecurity and low self-esteem feel like?

When you are insecure and have low self-esteem, you hold yourself back and believe that you are not good enough or that your ideas and actions are not worthy being shared with the world.  When you are suffering from such a lack of confidence, it seems that other people stare at you all the time and judge you for how stupid you are. You basically believe that the world and everyone in it, is against you and better than you. This makes you feel down and depressed. Who would want to live that way? Living your life this way, you cannot live up to your true and full potential as a happy and spontaneous human being, what a pity!

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Tips on how to overcome insecurity and low self-esteem

1. Stop judging yourself through others

When you feel insecure, you are judging yourself through others. You are basically thinking FOR others what they think about you! A sort of reverse-judgement is happening. It is important for you to become aware that these are just thoughts. Very limiting thoughts. You are putting thoughts in the heads of other people. How can this be true? Help yourself by thinking something that is positive or neutral (and true) about yourself every time you notice you feel someone is judging you.

2. Be authentic, be real, be who you are

At first, you may still just be very insecure and full of fear when you start dropping your pretenses. You will fear being judged and you will feel that you are not good enough. That’s fine. But you can not pretend to be something else than you are your whole life! Don’t create an image of yourself that is not true, if it’s positive or negative. Stop acting to be something you are not, it takes too much energy. That’s why starting now with being yourself is the best way out. The more you do this, the more you will notice it is not so bad and that people may actually accept you. It will actually be a relief.

3. Give yourself permission to make mistakes

No one is perfect. Not even the people you are looking up to. They make mistakes, even if you don’t see it. Making mistakes is a part of life and will always happen. It is just not possible to guarantee that it won’t! So grant yourself the permission to make a few mistakes every once in a while and be light about them. It is simply not necessary to be depressed for life after making a mistake. You are only human, just like everyone else.

4. Take on challenges, get out of your comfort zone

Whenever you dare yourself to do something that simply frightens the s*** out of you and you actually find yourself doing it, you feel on top of the world afterwards! So commit yourself to start doing more things that scare you or that you find difficult. This is a very good way to build up self-confidence and self-esteem as the fear of failure is mostly bigger then the fear of the action itself.

Therapy can help you deal with low self-esteem and insecurity. Don’t wait, take a step and contact me